I saw a tweet with this hypothetical question and it intrigued me — not just because of the 10 million science fiction plots I could see coming out of it, but because of a real-world thinking adventure we all might want to take.
The younger or older you are, the more obvious the answer seems, but we’ll add some plot twists. And our stroll through way more than 50 shades of gray areas might help you focus on what’s really important to you: your money or your life. I’ll even throw in a third pill for those around 30.
We’re going to assume the red pill takes you back to when you were 6, rather than making you a 6-year-old with very old or very dead parents in 2022. We’ll leave that to the science fiction writers.
If you go back, you could be a child prodigy and know what direction you want your life to take: career, relationships, etc. You’d get a chance to savor moments that maybe you rushed past before. You’d know a lot about the “future” because you already lived it.
But say goodbye to everyone you met after age 6: spouse, children, grandchildren, friends. You could try to re-create the best parts of your life, but if different butterflies flapped their wings, you’d be out of luck. And repeating school would be tedious, especially without today’s technology.
Jeepers! Where did I put my slide rule?
So who wouldn’t take the $10 million?
Almost everyone under 40 would grab it in a heartbeat, unless they were already rich or had gone through an avoidable tragedy. If a car accident left you in constant pain or killed a loved one, maybe you’d go back to change things, hoping the butterflies cooperate. Otherwise, though, $10 million is a hell of a deodorant.
Speaking of butterflies, your second version is going to do some wing flapping of its own. Maybe all that knowledge makes you come across as arrogant, so your parents treat you differently — less nurturing, more cautious. Life has a lot of randomness to it. Don’t take it for granted that You 2 will have the same amount of luck as you did.
Another quandary: Suppose you’re 85 and have six months to live. Your choice seems obvious. But is it?
Take the red pill and you might live another 80 years, but you’d wipe your children and grandchildren from the face of the Earth. Is it worth it? Most parents dream of giving their children a better life than they had, and a $10 million inheritance certainly might help.
I have no kids and no doubt that the red-pill me would have way more than $10 million by age 65 — betting on sports results I already know, buying stocks in tech companies before they soared, etc. — but I’d still take the blue pill. I’d rather live my last years in comfort and share the money with those I love than spend the rest of my life missing them.
I know I could find new people. I just don’t want to.
Back to the real world
So what can we learn from all this? If you’d take the $10 million, think about how you’d spend it. If half would take care of your immediate family, who would get the rest? Is there any non-wealthy “friend” who wouldn’t get a cent?
Guess what. You don’t have that money. What you do have, though, is time, even if it’s scarce. Are you spending it with those who would be in your $5 million club — or squandering it on those who aren’t worth your two cents?
Money talks, even if it’s fictional. Make sure you’re listening.
Would the money make you quit your job, or could you tweak it so you’d want to stay? Can you at least try that in the real world? Bosses can surprise you in all sorts of ways. A few of them are even pleasant.
Some people would certainly take the red pill not because of mortality or tragedy, but because they’d like the challenge and excitement of trying for a better life — to take the road they never traveled, to fight the battle they should have fought, to meet the love they never found.
How would you make life better in your red-pill world? What lessons did you learn? Look at your life today and see if you can apply any of them. If it’s simply too late, you can still create a better life — for a grandchild or mentee. Or for several.
Suppose you’re around 30
Let’s make things a little more challenging for people that age: Those damn Baby Boomers gobbled up all the red and blue pills, so all we have left is a green one. It gives you $10 million, but you age 30 years overnight. Would you take it?
Of course you would, right? That’s over $330,000 a year for doing nothing! You’d be financially set for the rest of your life! Not to mention all those senior discounts! Only a fool would pass that up!
But … but … you’d turn it down, wouldn’t you? Because there’s still this road you want to travel, this battle you ought to fight, this love you have to find, this legacy you need to create.
So the next time you have a rough day or week or decade, think back to the time you tossed away the hypothetical guarantee of TEN MILLION DOLLARS, just because you were busy clinging to something priceless.
Hope.
Murphy Slaw
Something old: If you love dogs, this one is bittersweet. Scroll down if you want a happier scene.
Something new: I don’t own a tinfoil hat, but sometimes it does feel like the world is spying on me, just for giggles. Case in point: A friend and I had Ethiopian food last Friday. We’d never had it before, so we ended up with these two sampler platters, but I also remember the waiter mentioning tibs, a popular dish I had never heard of in my nearly 24,000 days. Two days later, I listened to a podcast about “Ted Lasso” and they started talking about Ethiopian food, including a popular dish called tibs.
Something borrowed: This ought to shine a little light into your day.
Something blue: Thank you, Onion, for something that’s more true than blue.