‘The Book of Mormon,’ Dave Chappelle and empathy
Humor can open our eyes — if we don’t close our minds
Eons ago, my friend Bill Hurschmann wrote an obituary, which I shall mangle thusly: “Joe Blow died Friday. He was 74.” An editor changed it to, “He was 74 years old.”
So Bill’s next obit said, “Joe Blow died Friday. He was 74 years old.” An editor changed it to, “He was 74.”
That’s journalism in a nutshell, which is where it belongs.
We’ll follow this up with something Anthony Bourdain never said, something Johnny Carson probably did and something Dave Chappelle definitely did, but they all have something in common with Bill’s stories: empathy — or our obliviousness to it. Let’s start with a Bourdain tweet.
Parts of that certainly sound like something Bourdain might say, but he didn’t. A food writer did in this article that mentions Bourdain, and someone on the internet ran with it anyway. And it’s certainly a point worth making, even if no one famous said it. At least it didn’t say that Bourdain endorsed ivermectin.
Around the time Bill wrote those obits (give or take a decade), I swear I heard Carson say that TV censors were focused on the wrong words. Instead of bleeping swear words, he said, they should apply their zeal to racial slurs. Profane words would offend people, certainly, but they weren’t designed to hurt. Slurs were.
Lots of words and actions the last two years have been designed to hurt people, whether it’s an increase in hate crimes or social media abuse or, you know, that attempted coup thing. The pessimist in me looks at the United States and sees a much crueler place than he did five years ago.
But there’s also more empathy. Those who have been relatively lucky the last two years are trying to lift those less fortunate, or at least appreciate how hard their lives have been (yes, including restaurant workers). The optimist in me sees people savoring each other’s victories more than we used to.
Several Broadway shows used the COVID hiatus to tweak their scripts, smoothing over race-related items that needlessly upset audience members. “The Book of Mormon,” a comedy from the creators of “South Park” about white missionaries assigned to a village in Uganda, tried to sharpen its satire and give a couple of the Ugandan characters more depth.
But what has always made “Mormon” great is its humanity. Amid the laughs as Nabulungi sings about Salt Lake City, there’s also the wistfulness of someone dreaming of a better life, just as Dorothy did in “The Wizard of Oz,” just as billions do each day. Even if you can’t find Uganda on a map, you can find Nabulungi in your heart.
I grew up in a white neighborhood, and there were lots of ethnic jokes, mostly directed at friends who were Italian, German, Irish, whatever. But nobody was making fun of them; they were us. Standup comedians joke all the time about people of their own race or background: Isn’t it great that we’re all weird together?
Which brings us to Chappelle, whose Netflix special “The Closer” has generated outrage over his comments on transgender people. But lots of people love the special and Chappelle’s humor, maybe because he is so offensive about so many topics. He even joked about being molested by a preacher — and enjoying it. Like I said: not for the faint of heart.
LGBTQ people have faced prejudice and violence for generations, and right now transgender folks are particularly targeted by all those bigots who lost the fight over marriage equality. You know another group that has faced prejudice and violence for generations, and is particularly targeted right now by lots of those same bigots? Black people.
Many transgender people feel angry and offended by Chappelle’s shtick, and maybe I would, too. But I hope they also take a minute to think about whether he made those jokes because he sees them as part of us — not some faceless “them.”
Take this joke from an earlier special, which might well offend transgender, Chinese and even Black people:
In this old white guy’s eyes, that joke did not diminish anyone, and I doubt it was meant to. What it did do was use absurd humor to remind us how horrible life can be if you’re not comfortable in your own skin. That one stupid joke could have created more empathy for transgender people than a truckload of 5,000-word essays about hate crimes and civil rights.
Because we’ve all felt that discomfort or know someone who has — the horror of looking in the mirror and not knowing who you’re seeing. Maybe you’re stuck in a horrid job, an abusive relationship, a place where you don’t belong, whatever. And if it happens to be something as primal as our sexual identity, anyone would be traumatized. Anyone would do whatever they could to make it right.
We can even feel that empathy in “The Book of Mormon,” when the missionaries wonder whether the faith that made them who they are could endure in a place dominated by warlords and AIDS. Laughing about our demons can be a bonding experience — if we let it.
Sometimes life feels like an exercise in futility, whether we’re yelling at the top of our lungs about civil rights or shaking our heads because two white, middle-aged editors can’t agree on a three-word sentence in an obituary.
But the more you give empathy, the more you might notice it in others, even the unlikeliest of sources.
Murphy Slaw
Something old: If that might be you (at least slightly) this is a terrific article about how to “prolong athletic mortality.”
Something new: Yes, cats and dogs can get along. Well, sort of.
Something borrowed: Love the artistic point that John McEnroe makes in this tweet and story from the Wall Street Journal.
Something blue: If I mangled my words on empathy, maybe this 90-second video will do a better job.