Sometimes the end of a favorite TV series can help you reflect on your real-world relationships. I promise today’s post has no spoilers about recent finales, but I just might compare “Ted Lasso” to “The Crying Game.”
Consider yourself warned.
There’s a great line in this podcast about “Lost,” an early internet darling with a smoke monster and time travel and mythology, and whether a show really clicks. “It comes down to: Do you have scenes of two people talking in a room that are absolutely transfixing?”
Relationships are like that, too. You can have wonderful times, but if you never have a heart-to-heart conversation, the whole adventure is less fulfilling. You’re watching the show with your eyes, not your soul.
I’m writing this segment before seeing the finale of “Ted Lasso,” so it’s strictly speculation: Because the creators saw it as a three-season series, the finale probably has big twists, maybe involving Ted going back to America. If the key people decide to have a Season 4 and don’t do something cheesy (“It was all a dream!”), the scenario could be way different, like having a spinoff or a Ted Lite in “Ted Lasso.”
That’s where “The Crying Game” comes in. The 1992 movie has a plot twist that raises a powerful question: Do you stay with a loved one even if you suddenly see them through a different prism?
I’m guessing that when a silly little Apple TV+ show about British soccer becomes so popular that Nike puts out an ad for the finale, its creators will look at their world through a fresh prism and come up with a Season 4. When people love you this much, they’re never gonna give you up.
Life has a kaleidoscope of TV shows and relationships. We never get around to most of them, and reject others in a heartbeat. Even a promising one might grow stale after an hour or two.
Longer relationships can end for reasons beyond your control, or you simply move on. Other times your loved one jumps the shark and you take a huge step back, maybe checking in every six months or so, maybe just following them on Facebook. You want to see them have a happy ending, but your soul has left the building.
Sometimes you both know the relationship is over, but it drags on (hello, “Game of Thrones”). Or the breakup is so rough that it’s hard to look back fondly on all the wonderful times you shared. (And that, kids, is “How I Met Your Mother.”)
The last few minutes of that finale alienated so many fans that the version on Hulu tries to soften it. There’s even an alternate ending on YouTube that’s way more appealing to casual friends like me:
What makes the finale so rough is that the yellow umbrella scene belongs in the Absolutely Transfixing Hall of Fame, but there was no time to savor it before things took a hairpin — or harebrained — turn. It forced people to see the show through a different prism, and many weren’t ready for it.
No matter how “Ted Lasso” ends, whether it’s this week or in 2035, I’m sure people will complain about Ted returning to Kansas or staying in London, about AFC Richmond winning the championship or falling short, about one couple or another not walking hand in hand into the sunset.
The finales of “Lost” and “The Sopranos” didn’t fare well with internet reactionaries, but the years have been far kinder. Fans love a great journey, even when people are just talking. Especially when people are just talking. Because they’ve become a part of us, like the best of friends (fictional division), even at their worst.
The best relationships never completely surprise you. They’re too much a part of you. Even if someone changes your prism by coming out or using a slur or getting a divorce or god knows what else, you probably saw traces of handwriting on the wall.
In any case, leave judgment to other people. Be curious. Be understanding and empathetic and tolerant. Be forgiving, if they need and deserve it — and maybe even if they don’t. If you find the best in them, maybe they’ll find the best in themselves. I learned that from my friend Ted.
And somehow summon the guts to start a difficult conversation, with a close friend or a stranger, even if it scares the crap out of you. Especially if it scares the crap out of you. I learned that from my other friend Ted, and a prism-altering woman with a yellow umbrella.
Murphy Slaw
Something old: Stephen Sondheim encouraged lots of young talent, including Lin-Manuel Miranda. I don’t think this note ever led to a collaboration, but what a sweet surprise for Trey Parker, the co-creator of “South Park” and (much later) “The Book of Mormon.”
Something new: This Pew Research report outlines what people see as the most important things in their lives. There are many in common, but a couple of big differences: Republicans place more emphasis on religious faith, Democrats on pursuing creative activities.
Something borrowed: We all can use a little protection from our vices.
Something blue: Good mental health is definitely not for the birds, but birds and their songs can be great for your mental health, according to this Washington Post report. If you already have birds around you and want help identifying their songs, a free app called Merlin might help.