First, Break All the Rules

Knowledge is power — if it’s not outdated

When you were little, a parent might well have told you something like, “Hold my hand when you’re crossing the street.” It was great advice — then.

This is a cute old scene from “Family Ties” about how opposite personalities see the world differently, including works of art. It isn’t just that you shouldn’t compare apples and oranges; sometimes you shouldn’t compare apples and apples.

I stole today’s headline from a workplace book that went against conventional wisdom, spurred by a Gallup study: Instead of telling workers to overcome their weaknesses, bosses usually should help them play to their strengths. You can unlock a lot more potential.

There are limits, of course. Even a street-smart 3-year-old might need a parent’s hand because they’re too small for mediocre drivers to notice. “He had the right of way” is not a great epitaph. And if a worker’s technophobia inconveniences a dozen teammates, they’d better be one-in-a-million brilliant, not a run-of-the-mill pain in the ass.

Three things worth considering in the name of nuance:

Be more sophisticated

If you’re put off by paintings by Picasso and Pollock, you probably prefer your apples to look like they came straight from the grocer. Certainly nothing wrong with that. But you still need to stretch your mind enough — to “Think Different,” as this ad featuring old video of Picasso put it — to appreciate that many of life’s joys are abstract, and many works of art are symbolic.

If you find yourself always coloring inside the lines, think about why. Are you just echoing something from decades ago, spoken by parents or teachers or bosses? Maybe times have changed, maybe you’ve matured, maybe you have another think coming.

If you’re a boss whose employees have shown they can work remotely and now you insist on all of them coming into the office five days a week, it’s possible that:

A) You’re an idiot.

Sorry. There is no B, C or D. This type of quiz applies to any boss — or teacher or parent — who sets the same rules for everyone, regardless of talents, desires and personalities. You’re missing a great opportunity to reward people who do well and to show empathy over everyone’s dreams and struggles.

There’s a real danger that you’re undermining their strengths with your weakness. Maybe you need a 3-year-old to hold your hand.

Don’t believe the media

When’s the last time you saw a newspaper headline like this: “Local woman having a pretty good day”? Never, right? That’s not news.

It may well be that people aren’t any unhappier now than they were 20 years ago. They just have more ways to be noisy about it. And more ears willing to listen.

In our society, the outraged wheel gets the grease. Maybe it’s a bottom-feeding politician ranting about pronouns or a sports anchor with a hot take about your favorite team’s incompetence, or just some unremarkable person yelling at clouds like Grampa Simpson.

Those stories aren’t news, either, but we get them by the truckload.

It’s fine to get your news from Facebook, but make sure you know where it’s really coming from. And look for specifics. If a story is vague about where or when something happened, it probably didn’t.

Apply the same cynicism if a politician cries “fake news” or “conspiracy” without citing specifics to make their case.

There’s an old line: “a lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.” These days the lie could probably make it to Jupiter and back because it can just be blurted, while the truth needs time to hack its way past all the unsubstantiated rumors and internet bullshit.

Take the time.

Sometimes the deception is subtle. Reputable media people might quote an author or poll as voices of authority, which might be fine. But Google the author and scrutinize the poll, looking for what might be missing. Do they have an agenda (like “selling my book”)? Are they citing facts — or opinions dressed in facts’ clothing?

One favorite since I moved into a new hood — geezerhood — is when polls say they sampled “retirees.” Just a hunch: A 55-year old might look at life differently than a 95-year-old.

Make sure you’re not living on a grain-of-salt-free diet.

One size doesn’t fit all

It’s usually best to delay collecting Social Security benefits until you’ve reached your full retirement age, this CNBC story says. It’s sound advice. So is “pay off your mortgage early” and “go to college.”

But do take a minute to ask yourself: What would Picasso do?

Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of college. LeBron James never went. Savvy investors love mortgages because they can borrow money relatively cheaply and use their financial acumen to get a higher return. Sometimes collecting Social Security early makes the most sense, too.

Beware the easy answer. But know your limitations.

Buying a fixer upper can be a great way to build wealth. If Cathy and I did it, though, we’d be the proud owners of a condemned building.

Lots of people aren’t comfortable investing in stocks or crypto or basically anything riskier than a savings account and a home purchase. If you fit into that category, by all means follow the experts.

Sometimes the safest path of all begins with someone holding your hand.

Murphy Slaw

Something old, new, borrowed and blue: We’ll go back to the usual format next week, but today I’m following up on this post I did two weeks ago about Apple Music’s list of the 100 greatest albums ever.

As I looked it over in more depth, I found that 22 of the albums had no songs that I’d ever listened to (as far as I can remember). I’d certainly heard songs from some of the artists — Neil Young, The Cure, Radiohead, Metallica — but never from the albums that made Apple’s list.

So I put together this playlist with one song from each of the 22, going from the smoothness of Miles Davis and via artists like Lana Del Rey, Bjork and Travis Scott before ending up with Rage Against the Machine. Maybe you’ll find something that’s fresh to you, even if it’s decades old.

I found four artists I’m adding to my regular mix — The Strokes, Massive Attack, The Cure and A Tribe Called Quest — and I’ll certainly sprinkle in a little Young, Del Rey and Beastie Boys. I hope you’re as lucky.