When life leaves you in the dark, a joke about two priests and a bishop might help you see the light.
When a young priest asks if he can smoke why praying, his bishop says “Hell no!” (or something like that). A little later, the priest sees an older priest smoking and praying. “When I went out for a smoke,” the older priest explains, “I asked if I could pray while I was smoking. The bishop said it’s always all right to pray.”
How you frame a question can make all the difference. Sometimes that frame is just a matter of timing, whether it’s a pilots union asking for raises just before the peak travel season or the woman singing “Will you love me forever?” in “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.”
You see framing every day, from corporate PR to politics to the family dinner table, where the path to many a childhood dessert goes through a maze of vegetables. Those opposed to masks and vaccines frame their argument around individual freedom, a much better strategy than saying “we’re too selfish to care.”
But workplaces are where you see it the most. Let’s say Dave is doing a great job (which should prove to you that this is complete fiction), so he gets a $10,000-a-year raise. Three years later, money gets tight and his pay gets cut to its original level.
During those same three years, Dave’s colleague David (we’re really stretching the limits of creativity here) got a single $10,000 bonus, and no raise. So he collected far less than his colleague, but guess who’s more pissed off?
That’s right. Dave. David probably blew his whole $10,000 on sex and drugs and no-load mutual funds, but Dave reframed his life around that larger salary, and now it’s gone. All the rationalization in the world probably won’t make him happy because the company spoiled a perfectly good frame.
When workers change jobs, they give all kinds of reasons: better pay, prestige, flexibility, etc. But if you lose a valuable employee, inspect the frame. Why was the worker looking to leave in the first place? Did the job have an ugly frame of disrespect or microaggressions or just plain boredom? Does your company have a pattern of losing, say, women of color?
Gallup research a couple of decades ago led some good bosses to change their whole approach for developing employees. Instead of dwelling on overcoming workers’ weaknesses, they focused on maximizing their strengths.
Does your biggest weakness come with a workaround? If an aspiring doctor discovers that they hate the sight of blood, they might want to change careers. But they could also choose a specialty that doesn’t involve trauma or cutting people open.
If you’re in a dead-end job, maybe you just need a fresh frame. Are there ways you can restructure it to spend more hours doing what you do best? Can you find a teammate whose strengths complement yours?
That doesn’t mean you’ll find someone who will work graveyard shifts and clean toilets while you perform Hamlet’s soliloquy, but maybe you’ll discover a numbers person who meshes with your not-so-meticulous soul, or a Laurel to your Hardy.
Murphy Slaw
Something old: It’s been William Shatner’s universe for a long, long time now; we only inhabit it. Now he truly is a rocket man.
Something new: If you’re concerned about how Instagram exposure might be messing with the psyches of teenage girls, this New York Times piece offers a broader perspective.
Something borrowed: Cutest picture I’ve seen in awhile.
Something blue: This is a scene from nothing except YouTube at this point, but it’s generating so much buzz that I wouldn’t be surprised if it leads to a movie about Robin Williams. Jamie Costa is that good, as San Francisco Chronicle critic Mick LaSalle explains.
An idea suitable for framing
I saw that clip with Jamie Costa. Great job with Robin Williams. I would definitely love to see that become a movie. With all that's going on in the world right now, those trips to outer space really bug me. I'm struggling to pay our mortgage and these guys are spending billion on self-indulgence. Something is just not right there. Nice post, Dave.