10 films, 10 life lessons
We have some great teachers, from Foxx to Kurosawa to Chaplin
Remember that Disney movie about an evil snow queen who was supposed to freeze a peasant girl’s broken heart?
Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez had to write a song about the wicked one, but they kept thinking about how isolated she must feel. So they wrote what was in their hearts. It was so good that the script got changed. The queen and the girl became sisters. They even built a snowman named Olaf.
The songwriters’ idea helped turn an ordinary movie into an inspiration for millions of girls. They already knew an important life lesson: If you can go beyond what is expected, do it. Even if you don’t win an Oscar (they certainly did), you’ll make the world — and your life — better.
Here are 10 movie scenes, one from each of the last 10 decades, that offer other lessons, and maybe inspiration:
Treasure simple moments. Before he gets up each day, Stephen King goes over a mental list of things he’s grateful for (umm … clown-free sewers … not owning a rabid St. Bernard … ). What in the last 24 hours do you have to be grateful for? Did you listen to a great song or hear from a cherished friend? Watch something fun, read something smart, laugh at a clever meme? See something beautiful? Hug someone wonderful?
In this scene from “Soul,” Joe flashes back to a spirit that came into his life, and how everything that once seemed stale is fresh once more.
(If you see an error message with an exclamation point, it does give you a link to click and watch it on YouTube. So, you know, click the link and watch it in YouTube. We’ll still be here when you’re done.)
Know how to tell a good story. Impress the right people and you just might land a great job — or at least a second date. One of my earlier posts had this scene from “Crazy Rich Asians,” so this time let’s go with Mia’s audition in “La La Land.”
Look past the symptoms. If something is wrong with a loved one or co-worker, sometimes we’re too close to notice the root of the problem. That’s when therapists and teachers can be a huge help. In “Taare Zameen Par (Like Stars on Earth),” a boy’s parents think they have a troubled child, but his teacher sees a challenge they can overcome. (If the scene makes you sad, this is a great chaser.)
Have friends who will push you. Good friends are supportive, but best friends will kick you in the butt if you let inertia drag you down. Here are Ben Affleck and Matt Damon in the movie that made them stars.
Have rivals who will push you even harder. After two brutal fights, Apollo Creed knew Rocky Balboa better than anyone — flaws and all. Even if you can’t be coached by a talented rival, you can draw inspiration from their brilliant prose, architectural flair, leadership style, whatever.
Embrace a couple of deadly sins. In small doses, envy and anger can be great motivators, fueling you to work harder and do better. Showing a flash of anger can help make your point, as long as it’s not a personal attack or an idiotic comparison to the Holocaust, slavery, rape, etc.
There’s a powerful scene about the AIDS crisis in “And the Band Played On,” but sometimes satirical humor works even better, as in this scene from “Network.”
If you inspire people, they might inspire you, too. Neither this scene from “Dead Poets Society” nor the classic below from “Spartacus” exactly lead to happy endings, but they capture the human spirit. Spartacus led slaves against Roman oppressors, and has endured as a symbol of rebellion and courage for millennia.
It’s not too late to create a legacy. Patton Oswalt sells this Akira Kurosawa film better than I ever could, but basically it’s about a terminally ill Japanese bureaucrat who fights to get a playground approved and come to terms with his own mortality. This final scene, like “Ikiru” itself, is simple, thought provoking and hauntingly beautiful.
Appreciate how fragile life is. “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone,” Joni Mitchell and Counting Crows tell us. Sometimes you don’t appreciate just how wonderful your country is until a madman threatens its existence. I could put just about anything from “Casablanca” here, but this is a favorite.
Don’t freeze your heart, either. If you catch yourself looking down on someone who hasn’t been as fortunate as you have, think of “City Lights.” A benefactor helped a young woman get surgery so she could see, but she never found out who he was. Until this scene.
Murphy Slaw
Something old: Vanessa Williams’ July 4 performance of “Lift Every Voice and Sing” — it’s just before the 1:50 mark of this video — drew some criticism because it’s often called the Black national anthem. Some saw it as a sign of divisiveness, but it seems more like inclusiveness to me.
Some Black people welcome “The Star-Spangled Banner,” which was also performed that night, but many people of all races feel awkward celebrating a war song that was written by someone who held slaves. In that context, “land of the free” sounds more hypocritical than inspirational.
One of America’s greatest strengths is its diversity, and often that means we march to the beat of different drums. Celebrate that.
Something new: Yeah, Zaila Avant-garde has three Guinness world records and starred in a commercial with Steph Curry, but she also knows how to spell “murraya,” which was enough to win the national spelling bee Thursday night — the first Black person to do that. Spelling is her hobby, but basketball is her passion. Take a look.
Something borrowed: This tweet speaks for itself, but if you need some background, see this.
Something blue: A New York Times article says women sometimes still face a stigma about crying at work, but I have my doubts. In her book “You Negotiate Like a Girl,” former Raiders CEO Amy Trask describes a few times she cried, ranging from workplace frustration to the ending of “Free Willy.”
“There were a few incidents in which employees cried to me, sometimes for reasons relating to work, sometimes for reasons relating to their personal lives,” she writes. “In each of those instances, the employee was male.”
The Times writer choked up when she tried to say something after a “much-loved” co-worker announced she was leaving. (Nobody criticized her for crying; she just felt self-conscious.) Expert tip: if you’re ever in a workplace that looks down on you for something like that, find a new workplace.
Thanks! Now there are a bunch of old movies I want to see again.