A no-brainer memory quiz

Answer one obvious question and it might boost your spirits

If you’re worried about your fading brain, I’ve got a no-brainer of a question you’ll like: If you lost your smartphone, would it be easier to find if you lived in a studio apartment or a four-bedroom house?

Duh, right? Now spell “duh” backwards and you get “hud,” which any Grampa Simpson will tell you was the title of a 1963 movie starring Paul Newman (who was married to Joanne Woodward) that won Oscars for Melvyn Douglas (who won another Oscar for “Being There”) and Patricia Neal (who did commercials for Anacin and Maxim Freeze-Dried Coffee).

If you look to your left as we complete our journey from “duh” to “Hud” to “huh,” you’ll actually get a glimpse of The Point: When you’re 20, all the stuff you know — from people’s names to rocket science to esoteric crap — could fit inside a metaphoric studio apartment. So when you forget where you put your iMetaphor, you can find it fast.

By the time you’re 70, though, you probably need a four-bedroom house or even a mansion to hold the stuff you’ve learned. The knowledge might be obsolete …

… but it still takes up space, making it impossible to remember all the names, faces and factoids as quickly as you did when you had a studio. So the next time something relatively inconsequential doesn’t leap to mind as quickly as you think it should, don’t blame forgetfulness or dementia or (god forbid) Alzheimer’s. Chalk it up to something else.

Logic.

Before you kick yourself for not remembering Patricia Neal’s name, think of all those people in studio apartments who’ve never heard of her. You might have a great mental image of a street scene you witnessed years ago, but have no clue where it was. That’s the sign of a rich life, not a poor memory.

Life evolves, often in weird ways. Once in a while, you have to remind yourself that “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” isn’t a song about constipation.

Sometimes your brain feels like this from Salvador Dali:

This is not to make light of people with serious issues, of course. New cases of dementia are expected to double by 2060, and we all certainly should know these tips for recognizing, avoiding or at least limiting it. But just as most coughs are not cancer, most senior moments are not dementia.

Bottom line: Most tips are, well, typical, like eating well and being fit. But if you’d like a plot twist, try another one-question quiz: Name the eventual Oscar winner in this picture:

Harrison Ford! Nope. Great actor, but no Oscars. And Kate Capshaw’s career pretty well peaked with this film, “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.” Oh, right! Short Round! The kid grew up to win an Oscar for “Everything Everywhere All At Once.”

Right! Now. What’s. His. Name?

You probably can’t find it in your four-bedroom house, can you? Because it was never there. Sometimes what we “forget” is the stuff we never bothered to remember, like Ke Huy Quan’s name.

When you’re older, you need to build a fifth bedroom for all the fresh stuff you learn. And it’s harder, not just because of the “old dog, new tricks” concept, but because so many of the words are hard for you to connect to: tech jargon, weird medications, names from other cultures.

When you’re, say, an old white person, it’s a lot easier to remember names like Harrison Ford, Tom Holland and Sabrina Carpenter than Chiwetel Ejiofor, Zendaya and Ayo Edebiri.

Is that a challenge? Sure. Is it insurmountable? Hell no.

Come on, now. Ke Huy Quan has fewer letters in his whole name than “Schwarzenegger” does by itself. It ain’t a heavy lift. Don’t make me go all Daniel Kaluuya on you.

Here’s another symptom of Big House Syndrome:

I have the same affliction. But make that part of your challenge, too. Be proud if once in awhile your earworm comes from, say, Olivia Rodrigo instead of the Beatles because then you’ll know that you’re furnishing your fifth bedroom well.

When you do crossword puzzles, don’t focus on the ones you can finish — you’re just spitting back information you already know. Focus on the ones that stump you, because each wrong answer will help you learn something new.

The more pathways you create, whether it’s visiting a new city or discovering a fresh neighborhood in your hometown, the healthier your brain will be.

Now where did I put my cellphone?

Murphy Slaw

Something old: This will help you build strength — slowly. Very slowly.

Something new: If you have Peacock, the four-part “SNL 50: Beyond Saturday Night” documentary is well worth your time. If not, this 15-minute YouTube clip hits several high points.

Something borrowed: This is my kind of fitness club membership.

Something blue: Please don’t ask what the specials are.