Do u text? Read this! It’s a period piece
A lot of our messages come to a shocking generational conclusion
Have you ever been oblivious to something and then you notice it all the time, to the point where it drives you crazy?
Consider this.
And this
And this!
Blame this:
Even though the story came out a year ago, I didn’t see it until that tweet late last month. Now I spend my days poring through messages from people under 50, looking for texts that end in periods.
Next week, I’m hunting for Bigfoot.
Periods were sacred when I was a young’un. Type one in the middle of a paragraph and it got TWO spaces after it. And exclamation points weren’t even on my typewriter. You had to type a period, then backspace and put an apostrophe above it. Now we have more exclamation points than Carter’s got pills!
Despite the decrepitude of that last paragraph, I applaud Gen Z’s point. Even in a blog, periods are overrated. You don’t need to announce that a paragraph is over. Smart readers can connect the dots — even with no dots
My colon no longer gets in an uproar over exclamation points, either. Really! They add a certain energy, at least in texts. I will admit I laughed, though, when a Millennial’s phone kept replacing exclamation points with question marks. Remember that if someone ever texts “I love you?”
Don’t be hurt. Just reply with a poop emoji
We’re fully capable of handling this evolution with grace. Besides, when you rail against something just because “we’ve always done it that way,” you can sound as pathetic as a conservative politician who is desperate for sex
education to be censored. Sometimes you have to talk to your reactionary inner self and just say “Woah!”
Yeah, I know we grew up spelling it “whoa,” but so many people in the nonfossilized world like the other spelling that even Webster’s has an eye on it. I hope we adopt this one, if for no other reason than that the “proper” spelling is so idiotic. It reminds me of Al Pacino in “Scent of a Woman”:
The whole thing just proves that we all need to understand ESL (English is a Stupid Language). “Woah” is a boneheaded spelling, too — it seems like you’re about to build an ark. Besides, “wo” is right there for the taking — two little letters and you’re done — except that long ago our language was kidnapped by dipshits with diphthongs
Somewhere in this world, there has to be a “Hawaii Five-O” fan who’s just dying for us to make “wo” happen. Then they can start a diet company called Wo Fat. With an exclamation point, of course
Murphy Slaw
Something old: Sometimes math absolutely sucks.
Something new: As the new-phone season comes around, this video might help you get the best out of your old one.
Something borrowed: Nature is beautiful on its own, but sometimes we can add to it.
Something blue: Here the Foo Fighters remember drummer Taylor Hawkins, who died in March. Sitting in on the drums is Hawkins’ 16-year-old son, Shane. The song, of course, is “My Hero.”
As a transcriptionist (who got her typing training in high school 50 years ago) I'm having trouble getting used to the single spacing at the end of a sentence. Thank goodness for the find and replace function on word - LOL. "We've always done it that way" doesn't go over well with my kids as a reason why either. Another good one, Dave!