“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, telling him that he had me at hello. Here’s looking at you, kid.”
That’s my Frankenstein of a movie quote, taking great stuff from three films and creating a monster. But the originals are fabrications, too. They’re way too smooth. In real life, someone would ruin everything by giggling or crying or slamming a door.
Same thing with the mahjong scene from “Crazy Rich Asians.” Nobody would really tell off their lover’s mother with the delicate brilliance of Rachel Chu.
Scenes like that show us our best selves — words we absolutely would say if we were that cool, that glib, that courageous. But we’re usually a sputtering, awkward mess, so the things that we want to say, the things that we ought to say, go unsaid.
That brings me to one of my favorite movie subplots, from 1996’s “Beautiful Girls.” A guy named Willie (Timothy Hutton) returns home for his high school reunion and hits it off with Marty (Natalie Portman), who’s cute, charming and witty — and 13.
Soon she has the kind of crush that only 13-year-olds can have, and he’s smitten, but not sleazy. He begrudgingly acknowledges that all the chemistry in the world won’t solve a basic math problem: Even in 10 years, when she’s 23, he’ll be 39. Sigh.
But while she’ll never be his flame, he loves her spark. “I hope we stay in touch,” he says. “I hope to learn someday about what you’re doing because I think, whatever it is, it will be amazing.”
You know she’ll remember their brief friendship the rest of her life, but so will he. Willie was at a crossroads (aren’t we always?), and Marty inspired him to appreciate what he had, and to push himself to be better.
I’ve been lucky enough lately to meet several Marties, male and female — not 13-year-olds, certainly, but several in their 20s, and even some decrepit ones in their 30s and (gasp!) early 40s. Some are already gone from my life, and even though you hope they’ll circle back, you realize that they’re already drawing circles of their own.
So here’s my movie speech to all of them, past and present, even if I’ll never be cool enough or glib enough or courageous enough to deliver it in person. Maybe some Marties deserve to hear your version, too.
“I know you’re not 13 and I’m waaaaay past 29, but I see the same spark in you that Willie sees in Marty. Here’s the thing, though: Lots of Marties never make it to amazing, because of bullies or drugs or anxieties or just getting worn down by life.
“You’re already amazing, and I know you’ll be spectacular. And even though this might embarrass the crap out of you, you need to hear that.
“Because one day you’ll feel like everything is falling apart. A loved one will die, you’ll get laid off, your teenager will hate you, your spouse will want a divorce, whatever. You won’t know how you can go on — or even if you want to.
“That’s when I hope you’ll remember how an old guy kept yapping about this movie you’d never heard of, about how special this girl was, about how amazing you were. And, most of all, about how much he believes in you.
“And always will.”
Murphy Slaw
Something old: If you’re too young to recognize the “here’s looking at you, kid” quote, ignore this clip and see “Casablanca,” for god’s sake. Otherwise, enjoy.
Something new: If you want to expand your musical horizons, try the “10 Songs That Made Me” podcast. Artists like T.I., James Blake and Margo Price describe music that influenced their lives, and it’s often an eclectic mix. Among the 10 is usually one tune that helped the singer get through teen angst, so you could create a playlist if you know someone in that phase.
My favorite jolt of eclecticity is from Japanese Breakfast’s Michelle Zauner, who includes everything from the Carpenters’ “Rainy Days and Mondays” and the Troggs’ “Wild Thing” to Wilco’s “She’s a Jar” and Smog’s “Dress Sexy at My Funeral.”
Something borrowed: This Entertainment Weekly Happy List has plenty of pop culture diversions, from movies to music, from books to meditation.
Something blue (or maybe purple): Sometimes it takes cats and dogs to bring out the best in humans. Twitter is filled with trolls and nastiness, but can bring joy to animal lovers. Here’s an example: